A Streetcar Named Demonic (Madder Than Hell Book 3) Read online

  "Why would he think that?" she asked. In the background, I could hear baby Johnny, who we were going to have to rename toddler Johnny soon enough, gabbing in the background. His favorite thing to say was, "Dadadadadadadada," much to David's delight and Olivia's chagrin. I also heard Elise ask, "Is that Eliza?" My chest squeezed as I wished Elise was with me now. I felt lost without my other half.

  "Tell her I'm fine. Nothing to worry about," I told Olivia.

  "She says, hello," Olivia said to Elise. "Everything is going smooth. Smooth as a baby's butt."

  If that baby had the worst case of diaper rash ever, I might agree. "Don't go overboard, Liv. She'll know you're lying."

  "The look on her face as she left the room tells me she didn't need me to say anything to know you're in over your head," Olivia said. "You know, cutting Elise out of your life isn't protecting her."

  "I'm not cutting her out of my life." Just the parts that involved me working for an unholy evil guy. "She has bigger, better things to concentrate on. Like becoming a great doctor." A swell of pride brought tears to my eyes. "I am doing this for her, not to hurt her."

  Olivia was quiet for a moment, then she said, "I know. What do you need from me?"

  "First, do you know who in the world might be pretending to be you?"

  "No," she said, her voice going up an octave. "Explain.”

  "Grady Conrad says that a woman claiming to be you came to his father a couple of months ago and extorted money from him for a demon cure. After she was paid off, she disappeared."

  "How is that even possible?"

  "Heck if I know. But whoever she is she seemed to know an awful lot about you and us. Though, she seemed to still think we were ghosts." I picked lint from the quilted blanket on the bed. "I don't remember anyone like how she was described from any of your demon run-ins. And it has to be a lesser demon, right?"

  "How was she described?"

  "Blonde, expensive clothes, put together, pretty, but with a bitch attitude."

  I heard the breath Olivia sucked in.

  "Do you know who it is?"

  "Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea."

  "Well, don't leave me in suspense."

  "Sandra Freaking Barstow."

  "Who?"

  "She was one of Moloch's minions. The one who kidnapped Ray."

  The recollection came back to me. "Oh, yes. I remember the story. She's the one who tried to torture you and David. But Grady said the woman claiming to be you had identification and such."

  "Because the bitch stole my purse." I could hear the seething anger in her voice. "And I want it back."

  "Why would she pretend to be you? Especially with a lycanthrope?"

  "Because all she cares about is money, and she's not particular about how she gets it. Besides, if she sullies my reputation in the process, it's a win-win for her."

  "What do you want me to do?"

  "Sit tight. I'll pack tonight and head up tomorrow morning."

  "You don't need to come, Olivia."

  "The hell I don't," she snapped. "I'm going to track Sandra down and make her wish she'd never heard my name, let alone steal it."

  I thought about all the pack members at Grady's house and the almost fight between him and Bobby Broderick. "If you're coming, see if Frank can round you up some more wolfsbane."

  "How much?"

  "I have a feeling I'm going to need whatever you can get your hands on." A war was brewing between the Ralls and Marion packs, and it might take poisoning every shifter in the area to settle it. "And Olivia..."

  "Yes," she said.

  "Tell Elise I love her."

  "I will. See you tomorrow, little sister."

  "Tomorrow," I said. I disconnected the call but before I could set the phone on the bedside stand, it rang. The number wasn't one I was familiar with, but it listed Hannibal as the location. I answered. "Can I help you?"

  "This is Carol Ann Broderick, Miss Madder. I was hoping you might meet me for dinner tonight?"

  Interesting. Well, maybe speaking to the bride alone might give me some insight to help me incentivize the groom. "Where do you want to meet?"

  "McDonalds," she said.

  "Really?" I mean, I liked fast food and all, but it seemed like a very informal setting.

  "It's the only place open after seven in this town," she explained.

  It was seven now. "Give me an hour to freshen up, and I'll meet you there."

  "I really hope you can help us, Eliza." Her use of my given name startled me.

  "I really hope we can help each other, Carol Ann."

  Chapter 6

  McDonalds was on the left side of the road and a short way from the Huck Finn Shopping Center. I pulled in to a packed parking lot. I guess when you were the only cheap eats in the evening, you got a lot of business. I could see Carol Ann through the window sitting in a booth. Just opposite her was a guy I sort of recognized but couldn't place. Why did he look so familiar?

  He stood up when I walked in, and then it hit me. He was the tall, lanky guy who opened the door when Grady took me inside his house. What in the world was he doing here with Carol Ann?"

  "Hi," I said. "Uhm, Carol Ann, do you want to introduce me to your companion?"

  She sipped her thirty-two-ounce cola then nodded. "This is Randy Cole." She frowned. "My boyfriend."

  "Uhm, aren't you part of the Ralls pack?" I asked him. "I just saw you less than two hours ago at Grady's place."

  His thin face was somber. "Yes 'em. I'm Grady's second since he took the pack from his father."

  Carol Ann looked miserable. "It's worse than that. Randy and Grady have been best friends since they were knee high to grasshoppers."

  "Wow, this is...unexpected. Does Grady know about the two of you?"

  Carol Ann bit her lower lip and nodded. "We all attended school together. It was supposed to be so Grady and I could get to know each other, but then I met Randy." Her eyes lit up as she looked up at her man. "We hit it off."

  "Is this why Grady refuses to marry you? Because you're in love with someone else?" I asked.

  "He refuses me, because his best friend is in love with me. He says he can't do it to Randall. He'd rather suffer the consequences of breaking the deal." Carol Ann sniffled and Randy handed her a napkin.

  Why hadn't Grady told me this? It would have explained a lot, and he wouldn't have looked like a big ol' jerk.

  "There is a seating area outside," Randy said. "Why don't you go get some food and meet us out there? It'll be a little less crowded and easier to talk."

  "Okay," I agreed. "I'll meet you outside."

  I ordered a Big Mac meal with a Coke to go, then took the beverage and the sack of food outside just in time to hear Carol Ann scream and see Bobby Broderick bent over a picnic table with his hands around Randy's neck. Carol Ann tugged at her dad, trying to get him off her boyfriend, but the Alpha was strong and determined to kill the young werewolf. Fantastic.

  I dropped my meal on the pavement and ran to the picnic table. I took the lid off my cola and tossed the ice-cold contents right at Bobby's head. The sticky Coke hit its target and shocked Bobby enough that he let go of Randy and stumbled backwards. But instead of running away, Randy scrambled up and lunged at Bobby. What a dumb ass.

  "Carol Ann!" I shouted. She threw herself in his path.

  "Get out of here," she told him, pushing on his shoulders. "Go!"

  Bobby recovered his composure and, unleashing a furious growl, tackled his daughter's suitor to the concrete and began to punch him in the face.

  "Daddy, stop!" Carol Ann shouted. She went to grab his arm as he swung back and his elbow connected with her jaw. She staggered back. Had she’d been a regular human, the blow might well have knocked her out.

  "You bastard!" I'd left the Luger's out in the truck with my go-bag, but I wasn't without necessities. I had a Charlotte special--a water gun filled with silver nitrate--in my hand bag. It wouldn't kill Bobby, but it would distract him more than
getting splashed by my drink. I pointed the pink pistol in his direction and gave it several squirts until the stream was long enough to rope across the crazed Alpha.

  He roared, his back arching with pain, and his stare menacing in my direction. I swallowed a hard lump of fear. Whoops. Apparently, what didn't kill a werewolf only managed to piss it off.

  I kept the gun trained on him. "Unless you want a face full of silver, you'll settle right down."

  "You stay out of pack business, you hear?" he growled at me. "Harold is dead. I'm leader of both packs.”

  Randy wasn't moving. I worried he might be dead.

  "Let him go." I took a step closer wishing the pink, plastic gun would have shot silver bullets instead of liquid.

  Bobby put his hand around Randy's neck. "He's mine. I can do what I want. Pack law."

  "No," Carol Ann cried. "Please, Dad. Don't kill him."

  I could see in the way Bobby held his body rigid and his fingers tight on Randy without any indication of hesitation that he was prepared to ignore his daughter's pleas.

  I took another step toward him, my right hand holding the barrel steady while I rummaged my purse with the left until I found what I was looking for. "I will kill you," I told him, "if you harm one more hair on that boy's head."

  "And how do you plan to do that?" He snarled at me. "If you had those guns of yours on you, you'd have pulled them out already."

  "You're right," I said. I took another step, and now I was only a few feet away. "But I do have this." I withdrew my left hand from my hand bag and held out a six-inch spike. "This is pure, unadulterated silver, Bobby. I bet if I sink it anywhere in your body, it will do some major, and possibly irreparable damage."

  "And what makes you think I won't kill you first?"

  He could hurt me. Badly. Of that I was certain, but I was a minion, and as such, enjoyed immortality. "Unlike you lycanthropes, I'm impossible to kill."

  He bared his teeth at me in a grin that made me shiver. "I bet I'd have all kinds of fun trying."

  “Not with a spike in your eye,” I said. “And a foot on your balls.”

  "Get the fuck off my second, Broderick," demanded Grady.

  I hadn’t even noticed Grady approach. He gave me a look I couldn't decipher then turned his attention to Broderick. "Unless you want to challenge me right here and now, you'll get up and leave now."

  Bobby put his knee into Randy's chest. The young man moaned as the air was pushed from his lungs. "This is my county, Conrad, or have you forgotten where you are?"

  "I'm about to forget that we have a peace treaty in place for the moment, if you don't get the fuck off him," Grady said.

  I knew his anger should scare me, but there was something about Grady Conrad that put the sizzle in my bacon. However, while he might have taken control of the confrontation, I cautiously kept the water pistol trained on Broderick.

  Bobby threw up his hands. "Fine, but this isn't over." He smoothed down his shirt. "You'll marry my daughter and take your place as my second, Grady. Because if you don't, the demon will drag you to hell."

  "Why do you even care, old man?" Grady growled. "You don't give a rat's ass about Carol Ann, and you certainly don't care about me. What does it matter if we get punished for breaking the bargain? It seems to me, you'll get everything you want if we just let it die."

  Bobby looked startled. He blustered for a second then said, "I care about my daughter, Grady." He looked down at the fallen werewolf. "And if you care about your second, you'll keep him away from her. Next time, I'll snap his neck." He walked away then, leaving Grady, Carol Ann, and me standing in the center of a McDonald's crowd. Super. We had an audience, many of them had their phones up, but there were no sirens near or distant. Surely, someone had called the cops.

  Grady swept the bystanders with an angry gaze. Most of them turned and walked away immediately. A few took pictures with their cameras of all of us before leaving. Carol Ann was on the ground holding Randy, and comforting him, as the last of the stragglers departed. I grimaced. "Lord, I hope we don't become one of those social viruses."

  Grady's mouth dropped open slightly as he stared at me as if I'd grown a second nose. "A what?"

  "You know, when someone puts a video or picture of you online and then everyone looks at it."

  The alpha, who a few seconds earlier looked ready to rip off heads, was smiling now. At me. "I think you mean you hope it doesn't go viral on social media."

  "Is that what I mean?"

  I was always getting that stuff wrong, but frankly, before a year ago, I hadn't had physical fingers to play on places like Tweeter and Headspace. I liked them though. And the trending news, especially the politics, reminded me of the old gossip rags that Olivia sometimes read in the ‘80s. With headlines like, President pregnant with big foots' alien baby, but claims it's all lies! I couldn't stop reading. Elise called it click bait, but I wasn't sure that was an accurate description since no actual clicking happened when I tapped the links on my phone. Though, once, I tapped on something that turned my phone into a pop-up nightmare.

  Carol Ann was helping Randy to his feet now. I focused back on Grady. "Why are you here?"

  "It's the only place you can eat after seven."

  I frowned. "So, I've heard, but that's not why you're here."

  "No," he said. "He pointed to a guy leaning against a red Jeep. "That's Howzer. He's been following you. He called me as soon as he saw Bobby pulling into the lot."

  "So, Carol Ann and your bestie," I said.

  "Yep." He scratched the back of his neck. "Since junior high."

  "And that's why you don't want to marry her."

  "That's part of it." He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against a nearby table.

  I sat on the edge next to him. "And the other part?"

  "It's just wrong." He looked at me with an intensity that made me breathless. "Don't you think a person should get to marry someone they love?"

  "Yes," I said before I could stop myself. Then added, "But sometimes you have to do things for the greater good."

  "So, you want me to marry Carol Ann?"

  No. "Yes." I hated myself, but I was the mediator, not the broker. The deal was done, and all I could do was make sure both sides did their parts.

  Grady leaned over and picked up the sack I'd dropped. "Here." He handed it to me. "Better eat up before your fries get cold."

  "Grady..."

  "I'll pick you up at the motel tomorrow at eleven. We'll grab some lunch then go have a chat with Broderick," he said as he walked toward Carol Ann and Randy. Randy's face was swollen, bloody, and unrecognizable. Grady looped his friend's arm over his shoulder, and I watched as the trio made their way to Grady's SUV. After they had the wounded werewolf situated on the passenger side, Carol Ann got into a small black sports car. They left. I opened the paper bag, plucked out a fry, and ate it. They weren't hot anymore.

  I sighed. "Damn it, Leonard."

  "You called?" the demon lord said. He was still in Air Force dress blues, looking dapper and soldierly. "Is the wedding on?"

  "Can't you just let this one go?" I asked.

  "Why?"

  The bride is in love with the groom's best man. "They don't love each other."

  "While I usually prefer a love match, or at least one that has an underlying attraction, in this case, I have to push on. I need Grady Conrad to mate with Carol Ann Broderick. This is not negotiable."

  "What did you promise Bobby and Harold in exchange for this deal? I find it hard to believe they bargained with you to keep the peace."

  "Wouldn't you like to know, my lovely curious Southern belle?" He flashed me a smile then reached into my bag and took out a fry. He bit into it, made an awful face, the dropped the rest of it on the ground. "That is not real food, Eliza."

  "No," I said with a sigh. "No, it is not."

  He disappeared again, and I went inside to order another Coke to wash down the bitter taste this whole mess left in my mouth.<
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  Chapter 7

  I did not sleep well that night. I had dreams of being chased through the woods by furry fries and snarling, special-sauce slathered burgers. At one point, one of the wretched beef patties bit me on the arm and then tried to hump my leg. I woke up with a yelp. A little after seven o'clock, I dragged my butt out of bed and made myself shower. After, I wiped the steam from the mirror and stared at my reflection. If I held my head just right, I could almost imagine Elise standing across from me. With the exception of my brief stint in purgatory, I couldn't remember ever feeling this alone in my entire life. I'd always had my sister by my side. Through thick and thin, we used to say, but lately, it had been more thin than thick.

  And it was my fault.

  Was Olivia right? Was I cutting my twin out of my life? I wanted nothing more than to tell her about Grady. He was both irritating and sexy, and my feelings toward him were more complex than I wanted to admit. It was easier to write him off as selfish and self-serving before I learned about the relationship between Carol Ann and Randy.

  I finished dressing, and I pulled my damp hair into a ponytail. Before I had a chance to put on makeup, someone knocked on the hotel room door. Oh, right. Olivia had said she'd get on the road early this morning, but she would have had to leave by four a.m. or close to it to be here now. I hurried to the door, eager to see my eldest sister.

  "I'm here," I yelled after the second more insistent knock. I crossed the room quickly and flung the door open.

  Grady Conrad filled the space.

  I closed the door between us. Well, tried to, anyhow. Grady put his booted foot in the space, creating a wedge.

  "Good morning to you, too," he said. He pushed the door all the way open. "Can I come in?"

  I rolled my eyes to hide my dismay. "A gentleman doesn't intrude on a lady's bedroom."

  "This isn't your bedroom," he said.

  I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. "That sure looks like a bed to me."